PDF Ebook , by Jay Stringer
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, by Jay Stringer
PDF Ebook , by Jay Stringer
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Product details
File Size: 10829 KB
Print Length: 263 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1631466720
Publisher: NavPress (September 4, 2018)
Publication Date: September 4, 2018
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B07B7RCM9B
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#52,691 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This is a paradigm-changing book. In a book filled with great insights from his professional counseling practice and original survey research of almost 4,000 individuals struggling with sexual brokenness, Stringer lays out a path to healing very different from traditional approaches that simply attempt to manage lust. In honest and sensitive language the author outlines how the themes of sexual fantasy provide a road map to the deeper issues of the heart that arise from the events and themes of one’s formative years. As Stringer explains, “The formative experiences of our childhood (loneliness, pain, sexual arousal, secret, and relational ambivalence) are all being repeated in our unwanted sexual behavior as adults.†Our sexual struggles are not random.The author does a masterful job, undergirded by a Christian world and life view, of the path to healing, laying the foundation for this path based on his clinical experience and research, and then offering a practical strategy for healing within a supportive community. Drawing on his own story of brokenness and healing, he concludes: “If we fail to engage the ways we were sexualized in the past, we leave open the high probability that these patterns will become more pronounced in the future. Sexual struggles reveal the truth of our stories in ways that will constantly surprise us.â€There are few books that I have read, and then have immediately read a second time. This is one of them. It is a book that provides understanding and hope to those who struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors and does so with an abundance of grace and kindness. It is a book that is much needed in a culture in which sexual brokenness of all types is inflicting so much pain on individuals and their families. It is a book that points to embracing beauty and a return to the wholeness that God desires for each of us.
The title caught my attention and I was curious to see if it would be useful for working with clients who have both been abused in the past and who struggle with some current problematic sexual behavior, but who would not be considered to have a sex addiction, per se. I was also curious about the research results to "back up" the viewpoint being given and curious to see how the Christian perspective would be utilized. I found the book to be written in a way that is accessible and helpful for clients while also clinically sound and most importantly: very compassionate. The first part of the book helps explain what sounds to me like a narrative model of how the problems develop and encourages a paradox of "listening to your lust" to understand the root of behavior, rather than just focusing on the behavior itself. The second part of the book is more application oriented and has some very useful tools for clients. Both parts would be helpful for spouse, partner or loved one trying to support the person wanting to change, I think. For a good part of the book, a wide array of unwanted sexual behavior is considered, however, at some point, I started to feel the focus of examples, etc shift to mainly men and pornography, and to marital relationships. For those looking for resources for Christian married couples, particularly where pornography and affairs have been an issue, this is an excellent fit with lots of practical tools to apply. For my practice, I would have liked to have had more application of the material to female use of pornography, as well as problematic sexual behavior that occurs aside from marital relationships, but I don't know of any resources that address these areas. In the end, I found much I can use and an encouraging and fresh perspective on the problems at hand. I have already recommended it to several clients.
I liked the logic and gentleness of this book. Stringer walker offers a wholistic approach to unwanted sexual behavior within the context of a predominantly Christian worldview. The goal is to treat the cause and not the symptoms which is an argument I can stand behind.Although Stringer focuses on a particular form of sexual brokeness, his approach can be applied to ANY variant of sexual brokenness. I don't think that any of his research is new or groundbreaking. He is just saying something that has already been said but in a way that engages his intended audience.Sometimes the book can get repetitive, but not in a way that is off-putting. His questions at the end of each chapter allow for self-reflection, but they are questions that require courage to answer. I have taken his questions and have begun to look at them honestly so that I can better know myself and the origins of my sexual brokenness.The 4 star rating is coming from the pages of off-putting reviews that are coming from big wigs who have read this book. They are over the top and exceptionally dramatic. I don’t like loquacious compliments and sweeping absolutes. I almost didn’t read the book because the reviews sounded like they were written by a kid experiencing a sugar high.For example one review wrote “Unwanted is, without rival, the best book on broken sexuality I have ever read.†A sweeping absolute like that makes a thinking reader like myself cringe.Another “critic†wrote, “Jay’s research is groundbreaking. No one has pursued these dark waters with as much light-offering, data-bound research.†How do you know that no one has done as much ground breaking research as Jay? Where is your data? Why should I trust you if you are making an absolute claim like that? What is ground breaking about talking to people who are experiencing the pain of a problem that you are researching? That’s not ground breaking, it’s common sense.The best review was “If you’re hungry for deep healing, or searching for practical ways to help others heal from unhealthy emotional entanglements and sexual dysfunction, Unwanted will be an incredibly sharp tool in your tool belt!†This is a balanced review. This review implies that this book is a good tool for the problem that one might be experiencing. It is a good tool to add to OTHER good tools instead of lauding it as if it is the ONLY tool.The most unhelpful review was “Stringer is a top gun, and I would fly with him into combat anytime!†This is not a review. This is a statement about something that has nothing to do with book. I know it is metaphorical, but still it doesn’t help the reader decide whether or not the book is worth reading.Anyway, I digress. I ended up reading the book anyway because you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover or its reviews.I would highly recommend this book to someone who is experiencing the agony of sexual brokenness in any form. Some might be upset about the fact that the author writes from a Christian worldview, but I don’t think that one should dismiss this book based on the worldview that the author holds. Healing is process and exploring healing from a variety of world views is healthy, intelligent and helpful.
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